| | Security: | | | Subject: | Schizoid | | Time: | 10:26 pm | | Current Mood: |  confused |
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| Please. save me. I have to get out of LB. And soon. Life here in Elbi is anything but perfect. Just got kicked out of my STAT class this summer. I've been bumming 'round my apartment for the past few days. Shitheads in the department of INSTAT can't figure out their own attendance policy and I'm the one paying for their incompetence. Shit!!! this means i'm delayed (again,) by one semester. I have no idea when I'll be able to start my thesis. Arghhhh!!!
And worse, Eka (a friend of mine who has just graduated last April) will be dropping by tomorrow and I have no idea how to explain to her what happened. Oh, and my blocmate just texted me asking about my summer classes. Great. They are so going to kill me.
I swear, I need a vacation. I need to get out of LB. Fast. Now.
On the lighter side of things, I'm scheduled to leave for Bicol on th 29th. Whoopee. I just have to figure out a way to stay sane until then. Anyway, some friends from LB will be joining me so this has got to be fun. Six people are planning to join the party and most of them are former editors from Perspective. Oh, and the guy I've been crushing on is planning to join us too so I'm happy about that. However, he is on his way to Bicol as I am typing this but he'll be back by Friday. (We are scheduled to watch The Da Vinci code this weekend so he has to come home.) On the down side, he'll be spending the next few days in Bicol with another girl. And by the way, she's crushing him too so this is bad. grrrr... I swear, there will be bloodshed if i hear that something's on between them. Grrrrrr (ulet).
I'm also planning to shoot a short film when we get to Bicol. I dont have a concept yet but for sure I'll be able to think of something. Hopefully, by the time we board the bus (or the train), I would've thought of something already. | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment   |
| | Security: | | | Subject: | Pentium 1 | | Time: | 05:19 pm | | Current Mood: |  tired |
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| Me am tired.
Me am sleepy.
Me am like... him.
Me am... um... umm...
Me keep quiet 'coz me's brain not working.
It is now safe to turn off your computer. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Security: | | | Subject: | Survey says!!! | | Time: | 05:24 pm | | Current Mood: |  Boyish?! Moi?! |
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| | You Are 70% Boyish and 30% Girlish |
You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be. |
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| | Security: | | | Subject: | Grrrr... | | Time: | 03:23 pm | | Current Mood: |  I need to go home... |
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| Spent the night in LB. Now I'm leaving, again. I hate commuting. Swear. I hate crowded buses. I hate having to wait around teh MRT station to get onto a jam-packed cart. I hate having to run after taxi cabs along Aurora. Grrr...
Thought my sems over, but no. One of my teachers just had to ruin it for me. Well, sort of. I still have to complete all the requirements that I missed last semester for my DEVC 122. I guess this is much better than recieving another grade of 5 and further delaying my long awaited graduation. I just have one problem: Where to find a scientist for my project. Grrr...
jay sent me an audio file from the game Halo. damn, ang ganda!!! Hehe... now I'm smiling. =)
I hate people who cant be trusted. SCREW YOU!!! | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Last Kiss (Pearl Jam! | | Security: | | | Subject: | Break time!!! | | Time: | 01:39 pm | | Current Mood: |  HAGGARD!!! |
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| Wow. It's been almost a month since I last updated this blog. Been really busy lately. Even my housemates are complaining. We hardly ever see each other anymore. Gahhhh!!! Stress is killing me. Presswork for 6th and 7th issues of [P] this week. Oh, not to mention I have tons of papers, 3 science news articles for DEVC 122, a newsletter to lay-out, a leaflet to revise and a comic book to produce. Good thing my friend Jay agreed to do the illustrations for me. Arghhh!!! Talk about hellish.
Two weeks ago, our section (news) heard a really long sermon from the EIC. Well, it was our fault (in a way). No one covered the elections coz we forgot to assign who will cover it. dammit! I would have volunteered for the job if not for our org's assesment 9which btw, lasted for almost 5 hours). Hayyy...
I'm supposed to interview a professor today but she's on sabbatical leave for a year. I need to clarify some things about the upcoming chancellor search for my news article for [P]. hay. Break's over. The bell rings. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Security: | | | Subject: | Tired... | | Time: | 12:35 pm | | Current Mood: | I wanna Shleeep... ZZZZzzzzz |
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| I'm so tired. Swear. I Haven't had a decent nights sleep in ages. Pressworks, meetings, papers, interviews, reports... AAAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!! But I'm having the time of my life!
Sure, I dont get to sleep. I haven't had a pedicure in almost a month and my eye bags are so damn big pero it's all worth it. I just hope I'll survive this semester. 18 units full load with 2 major subjects, 1 social science elective, two core courses, 1 required elective (labo ba?!), plus PE, plus org plus Perspective. life is good! Hayyy! Sana sembreak na. I want to rest. =) | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Everything's just so sh*tty this week.
It's my first week in the school paper and already I have hit rock bottom. This is probably the most depressing thing that has happened to me this week. I've just been so pre-occupied and I can't really concentrate on my writing. I just submitted a pathetic news article to my editor and I'm expecting the worse 'coz honestly, there's nothing else to expect. Grrrr!!! I'm not the best writer. Damn,I'm not even good, but I know I can certainly do better than that. Swear.
Tomorrow night's press night. 7 pm 'til only-the-devil-knows-when! Don't get me wrong, I love Perspective. I've always wanted to join ever since I was in freshman year. Jay and I even had a deal that we both take the exam three semester ago. Jay didn't have to take the exam. He just presented his works and voila, he's in. I on the other hand had to claw my way through. It took me two tries before I got in. Damn! Arghhh!!! It's just so frustrating!!! He's just so talented, both in drawing and writing. Oh, and he's the Managing Editor of the paper this school year.
I just wish I could delete thoughts from my memory. Kinda like in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. God, I'd love to delete all my problems and sad memories. I've just been so affected by the recent happenings in my other org that I can't think straight anymore. Grrr...
I am so excited for this sem to end. Just when I thought I was in the lowest point of my academic life last semester, I then found myself here which is an even lower spot. Sad.
I wish my term as officer would end. Then I can venture into new worlds and grow more. Basically, concentrate more on [P]. Things in FC aren't so good. Officers are slitting each others' throats for all the members to see. Talk about pathetic. I'm just so happy I got into [P]. At least in the office I can forget about FC. Forget about all the problems. Forget about *him.* I just wish I'll survive this semester. Hay... | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Lose Your Way by Sophie B. Hawkins | | Security: | | | Subject: | Bottomless Pit | | Time: | 12:00 am | | Current Mood: |  I miss him... |
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| I want to die. Seriously, I do. I mean, if you have the social and romantic life that I have, you’d probably wish you were dead, too. Swear.
Not only am I boyfriend-less, but the guy I’ve been eyeing on has been mad at me for the past five months. Cute, isn’t it? To think I used to fantasize about us having a Dawson-and-Joey-ish relationship. Yes, he was my best guy friend for two years of my college life. I know it was stupid and rather irresponsible of me to actually fall for him knowing fully well that there was and will ever be no hope of us ending up happily ever after.
Liking him was like jumping off a very, very high cliff with no harness or bungee or a helmet. It’s was fun feeling, adrenaline rush and all but I knew I was bound to hit hard solid ground a.k.a. reality, but I just savored every moment of the fall. To tell you the truth, I was rather hopeful. Stupidme.
I admired him, (adored him more like it) I was kind to him, I cooked for him, did everything he asked me to do, did mundane stuff for him including buffing his fingernails (yes, sue me for being sweet). I did every teeny-tiny favor for him. I even stayed up some nights accompanying him while he edited his numerous projects using my PC. I was hoping all my hard work and persistence would pay-off. Maybe, I was, in a way courting him. But I never told anyone that I had a crush on him. That would be suicide on my part because I know he’ll kill me if he found out. It was only a couple of months back when I finally realized what these emotions were about and I only told five people about it.
Initially I had no intention of having more than a brotherly love for him. (I used to be head-over-heels for another friend of ours, who is gay, if I may add) and I just considered him as a good friend. He was my weekend buddy. Every weekend we would just hang out by my house, play PC games, listen to music, and watch VCD’s and DVD’s. I would often ask him for favors like accompanying me to class and stuff. Back in freshman year he would patiently wait for me while I attend my PE1 class. He would just sit outside the room, watch passers-by or the volleyball class playing on the court below. After which we would go back to our un-official tambayan and wait for our other friends to arrive. We became close merely because we both had the same vacant times in our class schedule and eventually, I realized that we had a few stuff in common.
But last year, things changed. I began looking at him differently. Maybe it was because he started maturing, became more conscious with the way he looks (we actually spent two weekend shopping for his perfect outfit for a COMA105 presentation…), started wearing cologne and became more confident with the way he looks. I cannot really tell. All I know was that one day, I looked at him and said to myself, “well, he’s nothing like your other crushes but hey, he’s not that bad.” And that was when I jumped off the cliff.
I was so used to seeing everyday. Before we had this ‘war’ issue going on, there would hardly be any day when we wouldn’t hang out together, eat lunch and dinner together with our friends (when I get lucky, I get to have him for a pseudo date!) and stuff. I unconsciously memorized his schedule and even know the subjects he was tacking every semester. Hanging out by the tambayan isn’t complete without him joking around and being such an egotistic airhead which we all love.
Now, well, there’s not much to share. Everything about us has been reduced to memories. Only old pictures of us together could attest to our now broken friendship. It’s sad, yes but then again, ces`t la vie. You win some, you lose some. That’s the way life goes. Maybe I’m better off that we ended up this way. I have started to move on with my life. Met new friends and got to know myself even better. There was a time when I just totally concentrated on him and that’s when I also lost myself. I lived under his shadow. I did things to please him, things that I thought he would like (I quite smoking because he told me so!). But in the end they amounted to nothing.
I’ve been thinking of him a lot these past few days. I’m actually planning on talking to him one of these days. I’m not really sure why but a simple and decent conversation with him would do. I’m not mad at him anymore. I was never able to stay mad at him for longer than a couple of hours anyway. I just want to know what’s up with him. I don’t know what his reaction would be if I just come up to him and talk to him the way I used to. I’m not sure if I’ve gotten over him entirely. Sure wish I have. I’m tired falling in this bottomless pit. I just want to have my old friend back. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Runaway by Hale | | Security: | | | Subject: | Damn it... | | Time: | 09:07 pm | | Current Mood: | due to monthly period... |
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| I hate it. I thought I was alreday over him but no! I just recieved an email from him. It was entirely prfessional but still, I suddenly felt cold after I saw his name on the screen. Damn. And while I was reading his message, my head was spinning like crazy. It was like I just recieved a death threat or something! Shit! I so have to move on. I'm so depressed right now... I hate myself. Margaux told me that I deserve someone better. Easy for her to say.
Shit. I think I'll just go home and listen to Hale... Oh, and speaking of Hale, I just watched their gig over at 70's Bistro last Monday. Damn! Champ is so good looking! And boy, can he sing! Hehe...
I've been having the best week of my entire life. Haha! Managed to have a short chat with my crush just the other day! And i just saw him erlier over at mcdo! Wee!
Busy busy busy... hope i have more time to do this. I miss writing. This entry sucks. i wish my next entries would be better. wah!!! | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Boyband... Westlife ata ito... Nsa Compu shop lang ako! | | Security: | | | Subject: | The week that was... | | Time: | 01:08 pm | | Current Mood: |  indescribable |
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==> Wow... I'm back in LB. Bummer... I miss Bicol!!!
==> First week of classes last week... Managed to get myself a slot in a PI100 class. That's my only subject this sumer. Damn boring and the classroom is a friggin' steam room.No I know what a Siopao feels... It sucks coz I'll be wasting my time here slaving in UPLB while my cousins and friends are enjoying the summer break in Bora, Baguio and subic. Damn!!!
==> Oh yeah, I had my hair permed last week. It's damn poofy. Frizz feast. It's really cute when I style it but usually laziness gets the better part of me so I just put it up in a bun or ponytail.
==>It's so damn hot here in LB. Swear... I'm planning to buy another electricfan for our room coz the two fans we have just aren't enough.
==> We have a new addiction: Worms... No! Not worms as in real, live, icky worms! I'm reffering to worms, the game. It's kinda like gunbound but even better 'coz you can play it in the comfort of your own homes. Ha! And it's damn fun! Swear. Everyone in our apartment is hooked! Even our friends who just hang out eneded up becoming addicted to it! Weee!!!
==> Last Monday, had our first EB meeting for FC under our new director. It was rather annoying. All I heard throughout the entire evening was "Gusto ko... Ayaw ko..." Grrrrr!!! I would like to think that he means well and that he's not powertripping, but c'mon. All he did was give orders. Now I feel like I'm no longer working for the org but I'm working for him. He's not my friggin' boss! Hmp!!! Now I seriously don't want to be an officer anymore. I RESIGN!!!
==> Graduation last Saturday. Eleven orgmates graduated. Two graduated Magna cum laude and 3 are laude. They're so damn good, its frustrating. Hung out with three of them yesterday. I'm gonna miss 'em. Swear. Especially my buddy. I dunno. We haven't been hanging out these past few months but still, he was my best guy friend back in sophomore year. He'll be teaching in Marist this coming June so I guess I'll still be seeing him around in Cainta. Cant wait!
==> Weee!!! June's commin' up! I'll be seeing my cousins again! Yay! After almost two years! I miss those guys. Cant wait!!!
==> I so need a new phone. This Ericsson thingy is boring. I'm still looking out for new models. K700i is so last season. I was planning to get myself a new 6230i but I saw Kristy's new Motorolla and its LOADED with features. And its cheaper too. Help! | | comments: Leave a comment |
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twenteen's journal
Sh*tty week
